We Want What We Want by Alix Ohlin

Author:Alix Ohlin [Ohlin, Alix]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2021-07-27T00:00:00+00:00

FMK

We’d been to this funeral home twice before—at least, I think we had? I guess it sounds heartless but they blend together, the signs calligraphed with the family name, the floral arrangements and folded programs, the standard chairs in the standard rows. Even the silence feels uniform in these places. They must all use the same soundproofing.

I followed Cat inside, making intermittent eye contact with strangers and smiling a closemouthed half smile, the facial expression that is also uniform at funerals. Mr. Braverman’s service was standing room only, and we took positions at the back. It was nice to see an overflowing crowd; I hate the funerals with just a few souls huddled in their misery like animals outside in a storm. Here I saw little kids dressed up and fidgety in the second row. Some people don’t like children at a service but I think it helps everyone to remember the promise of youth in the world. I don’t know what it’s like for the kids. An elderly woman in pearls entered the room, and from the way heads swiveled in her direction I took her to be Mrs. Braverman. Her clothes, though elegant, looked at least a size too large, bought for a woman she used to be. Her eyes were hooded and vacant until they lit on Cat, who stepped forward, and they hugged for a long time.

“Thank you for being here,” Mrs. Braverman said as they let go, and Cat said, “Of course.”

The widow’s eyes grazed across me and Cat added, “This is my friend Sonia.”

Mrs. Braverman bobbed her head and moved on. I didn’t bother to tell her I was sorry for her loss; my presence didn’t matter and neither would my words. We came for the hug between her and Cat, who had located Mr. Braverman’s most accommodating vein and rubbed his necrotic feet and emptied his catheter bag and washed his wasted body and left the imprint of Mrs. Braverman’s lipstick kiss on his cheek when he died. Cat was here for Mrs. Braverman. I was here for Cat.

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